I don't know whether there was really a better lineup than in years past, or maybe it's just that the CMW website gave more detailed descriptions of the bands playing this year, but for whatever reason, I was really looking forward to Canadian Music Week.  Now that it's all said and done, I'd hafta say that it was the best CMW in recent memory; looking back, I wasn't disappointed!

THURSDAY, MARCH 12

Thursday was all about the punk rawk, as the Kathedral played host to Canadian legends SNFU.  The nite started off with The Bleeders, a Kiwi band mixing old school and hardcore, who came all the from New Zealand, and got the juices flowing.  What happened next was a bit of a let-down, however.  According to the CMW website, the 3Tards were supposed to take the stage at 10.  I coulda sworn I saw it on their Myspace page, too.  But I was surprised at the lack of flyers on Queen Street, as you always see a ton of them before every 3Tards show.  Twas a sign of things to come though, as the Tards didn't take the stage at 10, but rather The Roman Line did, a band with more of a pop punk sound, a la Hot Water Music.  Had I been expecting to see them, I might not have been disappointed, but as it turns out, I was pretty bummed out.

Now, I'm not a big fan of the "cyberpunk" stylings of Left Spine Down, so I headed across the street to the Bovine to catch a British band called Turbowolf.  While they did have a Korg keyboard on stage, it was sparsely used, as they employed more of a straight-ahead rock sound.  When they were done, I crossed the street again, and just in the nick of time.  Although the festival schedule had them going on at midnite, SNFU took the stage at 11:40, and played for an hour and a half, busting out a full repertoire of songs--and masks, including Batman, Freddy Krueger, a deranged chicken and of course, the pig.  All kinds of energy coming from the stage, even though the place was less than half-full.  I guess all the 3Tards fans musta stayed home...

When SNFU was done, I ran down to the Kathedral to catch Quest For Fire, the latest buzz band in Toronto's heavy psych scene.  I'd never seen these guys before, but I've been hearing about them for a while, as they've built up a pretty decent reputation.  I missed their set when they opened for Witch last month cuz I was checking out Zoroaster down the street, but word has it that Tee Pee Records signed 'em on the spot.  Anyhoo, they were certainly the heaviest band of the evening, and not just out of the ones I watched.  Their lumbering riffage damaged my eardrums and sapped me of my remaining strength, forcing me to remain seated for the last two bands of the nite.

Following Quest For Fire were the Delinquints, an old-school punk band with some killer guitar solos.  They certainly were a 180 in terms of the vibe and energy of their music, but going on after SNFU--even if they were a block away--didn't do them any favours.  Closing out the evening was Dean Lickyer, a young band staying up past their bedtimes.  Then again, isn't 3 am past everybody's bedtime?  I say this in jest, but in reality, the band members were barely old enough to drink.  That's not to say they were inexperienced, though; I first saw them as High Voltage in the summer of 2007.  They obviously changed their name once they discovered there were half a dozen AC/DC tribute bands called High Voltage--in Eastern Canada alone--but I must say their new moniker is a bit of a head-scratcher.  In any case, they seem to have matured as musicians as well, going from an AC/DC meets Aerosmith arena rock band to more of a soulful, bluesy sound, tossing in a cover of "All Right Now" by Free, and playing some Zeppelin as an encore.  Not a bad way to end the nite.

THURSDAY'S BEST BAND: SNFU, without a doubt.  Probably the only time I'll ever see a band play a 90 minute set at CMW.
THURSDAY'S PLEASANT SURPRISE: Quest For Fire.  Granted, I had heard their album beforehand, but they're even better live.
THURSDAY'S BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT: That The Roman Line took the stage at 10 instead of the 3Tards, one of the bands I was really looking forward to seeing.


FRIDAY, MARCH 13

Going into Canadian Music Week, I'd been waiting all day for Friday nite.  I was especially looking forward to the triple bill of Anvil/White Cowbell Oklahoma/Priestess at Velvet/Lee's/Sneaky's, but as it turns out, I only got to see one of the three due to a series of screwups.

I kinda knew something was wrong when I showed up at the Velvet Underground at quarter to eight and they told me they weren't open yet.  According to the CMW schedule, Indian metal band Prestorika was going on at 8, and it seemed kinda strange that the doors weren't open 15 minutes beforehand.  Well 8 turned into 8:35, which created some problems, as there was another band between them and Anvil, who had a 9:45 set time.  In spite of some technical difficulties, causing the lead guitar to drop out of the mix in almost every song, the young Indians (and no they're not natives, they actually flew here from India) put on a solid display of neo-traditional metal in the vein of Warmachine.  Although they started playing to a small crowd, they were winning people over as more folks showed up.

What happened after their set can only be described as disastrous.  With the late start and several long delays as they tried to solve their guitar dilemma, Prestorika played on past 9, spilling over into the next band's set.  And while it's not fair to penalize a band for the screwups of the group who played before them, most of the middle-aged metal heads in attendance were wishing someone would pull the plug on Dead Sexy Sheila.  Instead, the mediocre garage rock trio went on at 9:25, by which time many Anvil fans had arrived, and were given a full set to everybody's dismay, save the one guy drunk enough not to notice he was headbanging to a harmonica solo and the two poseurs dancing in their newly purchased Anvil shirts.  While Prestorika were a great warmup act for Canada's speed metal pioneers, somebody really wasn't thinking when they slotted Dead Sexy Sheila--an all-male band, by the way--between the Indians and the Anvil.  Try as they might to win the crowd over, the not-so-sexy teenage trio completely fell flat.

But enough about that.  Anvil was the band everybody came to see, and the stage manager knew it, allowing them to set up their amps and Robb Reiner's massive drumkit ahead of time.  Once the soundguy found enough mics for both bass drums, Lips leaped into the audience, kicking things off with an extended guitar solo.  The set consisted of a few new songs, including a brand new number from their "next album"--these guys show no signs of stopping!--as well as such staples as School Love, Mad Dog, Jackhammer and Winged Assassins, the obligatory White Rhino and the uber-anthem Metal on Metal.  Smokin' Green was notably absent, however, as I obviously wasn't yelling loud enough.  Still, they gave us a solid 60-minute set, which meant that I missed White Cowbell due to the delay.  Oh well, at least I could make it to Sneaky's in time to see Priestess--or so I thought.

Generally speaking, I really like Sneaky Dee's.  With all the overpriced boozecans on Queen West, it's refreshing to have a place that still charges under four bucks for a bottle of domestic beer.  And from a promoter's standpoint, there always seems to be a good turnout at Sneaky's, and not because people go there to be seen, they actually seem to care about the bands on stage.  I was manning the merch one nite last year when The Womb sold 21 copies of their EP, and I even managed to sell the three Mister Bones CDs that Georgian Skull brought with them, even though they played to an almost empty house.  However, I've had people tell me that they hate Sneaky's cuz the security guys are pricks.  On Friday nite, I found out why.

Now, I definitely expected there to be a lineup at the venue, since Priestess are too big to be playing a mid-sized concert bar.  What I didn't expect is that I'd have to go to the back of the line with my media pass hanging from my neck.  I even saw executive pass holders, the so-called industry VIPs, get sent to the back.  Meanwhile, priority access was being given to those who paid the doorman, as well as cute girls in short skirts.  The lineup wasn't very long, but it wasn't moving, either.

I must say that I've never been to the Tattoo Rock Parlour, where this stuff happens all the time.  While they don't seem to book heavy rock bands, I've unofficially boycotted the place, cuz I don't think this velvet rope/red carpet/tip the doorman bullshit has anyplace in the rock music scene.  Needless to say, the discovery that the same bullshit happens at one of my favourite local rock bars threw me for a loop.  When I had to stand out in the cold for almost an hour, missing Priestess altogether, while listening to the doorman complain about how not enough people were willing to pay to get in, or hearing him brag about the time he almost beat a guy to death, I've come to the conclusion that yes, the security guys at Sneaky's are pricks, indeed.  That being said, you don't spend an hour in line without learning how to cheat the system, and I now know how to skip the lineup altogether next time there's good bands at Sneaky's during a barhopping fest like CMW or NXNE--without opening my wallet or dressing in drag.  Then again, this was the first time in the last three years that Sneaky's booked any decent heavy rock bands during either festival, so I may never need to use this information, but we'll see...

As it turns out, I got to the front of the line at 12:45, just as Priestess were finishing their set.  When the doorman said they needed to do a count upstairs before letting anybody else in--which was a load of bullshit, cuz he was letting girls in all nite--I said fuck it, and left.  Heading down Bathurst Street, I was looking to get out of the cold more than anything else, and I was a bit surprised to see no lineup in front of the Bovine.  Whether this indicates a shift in superiority amongst Toronto rock bars, or just the overwhelming popularity of Priestness, I'm not sure, although I suspect it's a bit of both.  In any case, the band that took the stage when I walked in made me wonder at first whether Priestess had showed up at the wrong venue by mistake.  Of course, that wasn't the case, and it's just as well for Priestess, cuz Black Drawing Chalks woulda blown 'em off the stage if they did!

Since you're probably not familiar with them, Black Drawing Chalks are a mustachioed Brazilian heavy rock foursome, with plenty of sick riffing and retro fuzz.  It's worth noting that their bassist could be Brant Bjork's Brazilian bastard love child.  The resemblance is fucking uncanny!  Anyhoo, BDC brought me outta the cold in no time, blazing through a 40-minute set of high energy heavy rock.  They even brought their Brazilian manager/label head on stage with them to sing backing vocals on one track, and I recognized the dude from a Latin American music seminar at last year's conference.  One thing they didn't bring with them was CDs or merch, and that turned out to be a real bummer for me.  Their tunes would definitely own my stereo for the next little while, but I'm not sure I'm prepared to pay the shipping fees to order online from Brazil, even if they're half as bad as shipping from, say, Metal Blade Europe.  But when I raved about Spirits of the Dead at NXNE and bemoaned their lack of music for sale, I got a copy of their CD in the mail a few months later, so perhaps it's not just wishful thinking to hope for the same from Black Drawing Chalks, hint, hint...

After being blown away by BDC, I headed back to the Horseshoe, one of a handful of bars serving till 4 am and showcasing bands all the while.  My goal was to cross another name off my "Bands I Keep Hearing About But Haven't Seen" list, namely The Schomberg Fair.  For whatever reason, I know of these guys as big OTIS fans, but I wasn't too familiar with their tunes.  Turns out that after a few major disappointments, I was in for my second (third?) pleasant surprise of the evening.  When they brought out the banjo for their first song, I tried to think back to the last time I'd seen a banjo-playing band in concert, before coming to the conclusion that I probably never have.  These guys sure play a mean banjo though, lemme tell ya!  The Fair's main attraction is a fast-paced brand of country punk, mixed in with a few softer tunes.  Not to be outdown by his banjo-plucking counterpart, their bass player possesses a voice deeper than the lowest note on his instrument, which only adds to the far-out factor.  I mean, the guy could make a living doing the voice of Satan for the DVD bible craze that's sweeping the south!

Not ready to turn in after the stirring Schomberg set, I headed over to another late-nite haunt, the Silver Dollar Room on Spadina.  Speaking of relatively cheep beer, the Dollar offers pints, that's right, pints of Buzz Lager for under five bucks, a screaming deal in this city.  I'm always proud to support the hemp farmers of Canada, even when not getting stoned, and ya know what, I actually like the taste of Buzz beer.  But I digress.  The late-nite band at the Dollar was perhaps even more ecclectic than the one I had just seen at the Horseshoe.  They went by the name of Radius and Helena, a four piece math/prog/psych rock outfit, who wore zombie makeup on stage, complete with pseudo-lacerations.  Their music was far too intellectual for 3 am though, and one of their singers remarked that he was surprised we were all still standing.  Not for much longer...

FRIDAY'S BEST BAND: Anvil.  Since I missed Pristess and WCO, they win by semi-default.
FRIDAY'S PLEASANT SURPRISE: Black Drawing Chalks.  After Angra dissolved and Sepultura went tribal, these guys might be Brazil's best loud music export!
FRIDAY'S MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT: In spite of all the bad shit that happened, my biggest disappointment was not getting my hands on a Black Drawing Chalks CD.  Yes Virginia, they're really that good!


SATURDAY, MARCH 14

I should preface this by saying that I started Saturday evening by watching the Flames face off against the Leafs in a high-scoring affair in which my boys looked to be out of it on several occasions, to almost come back and lose 8-6 on an empty netter.  Before I even left my apartment, I had seven beers in me, and I was ready to snap at any joker in a Leafs jersey.  But apparently, Leafs fans don't like music, or vice-versa, as I didn't see any hockey sweaters all nite.

When the game endied around 9:40, I drunken-speedwalked down to Queen&Bathurst to catch Spanish garage-punk rockers Capsula at The Hideout.  I got there a few minutes late, but still caught the vast majority of their set.  And what a set it was; their energetic frontman playing guitar with his teeth and singing with the mic in his mouth, while their pretty flower-haired bassist laid down the rhythm and their drummer broke the only pair of sticks he had.  (Fortunately, someone gave him a new one.)  I'd hafta say they successfully followed in the footsteps of their countrymen Tokyo Sex Destruction in getting the party started, which TSD did at last year's CMW.  There must be something in the agua...

The high energy hijinks continued back at the Bovine with another band I'd been meaning to check out for a while, the absurdly, obscenely named Hell Yeah, Fuck Yeah, a moniker that suits their music to a T.  Playing dirty, heavy rock in the style of Nashville Pussy, they packed the house and rocked it inside out!  Furthermore, they ended right on time for me to head across to the Kathedral again, where this time, the next band was actually scheduled to go on at 11:40.

That band was West Memphis Suicide.  Hailing from Cambridge, I can picture them rocking bars in the 519 alongside Kitchener's Jakk Damage, a band that shares their southern metal sound.  If Pantera made an album with Zakk Wylde pulling double lead guitar duties with Dime, it would be called West Memphis Suicide.  I hadn't heard much about these guys beforehand, but I came away with a free demo CD, and a vow to catch them again some time.  But because of the Kathedral's screwy scheduling, there were lineups all over Queen West after I left, except at the Bovine--once again--but I wasn't really digging the metalcore sounds coming outta there.  I ended up at the Horseshoe, which was packed but still letting people in, after stopping at McDonald's, where I discovered a way to get free food and make a couple bucks.

What's the secret, you ask?  This one, I'm prepared to share.  By paying for a two-dollar chicken snack wrap with a 20 dollar bill, I was given 23.50 by the cashier.  Maybe if she hadn't dropped out of grade 8, she'd know that 4 times 5 dollar bills is 20, but hey, I'm not complaining.  Off I went to the Horseshoe, where I washed down the buffalo chicken with an overpriced Blue, and saw some band I never heard of play a couple songs that weren't too bad.  When the Asian synth-rock band took the stage after them, I took off, headed back to the Silver Dollar, and saw The Disraelis, a local psych band that's been getting some good publicity.

I should say that The Disraelis don't play heavy psych, the kind of music that gets the blood flowing through my veins, but rather a softer, sleepier psychedelic style.  Twas the perfect soundtrack for 2am if you're planning to go home and crash afterwards, and that's exactly what I did.

SATURDAY'S BEST BAND: Hell Yeah, Fuck Yeah.  They get the nod for taunting people who left during their set, as well as the ones coming in.
SATURDAY'S PLEASANT SURPRISE: West Memphis Suicide.  If Black Label Society needs a local opener on April 4th, they oughtta give these guys a call.
SATURDAY'S BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT: The long lineups that caused me to miss the likes of Basia Lyjak and Opus Road.

And now, without further ado, I bring you...



10. The Schomberg Fair: Fuck the cowbell--this band needs more banjo!

9. Dean Lickyer: Good to see these boys are growing up, although one has to wonder where they'll be at 21, when the 70's rock revival gives way to the New Wave of American Hair Metal.  (I'm not looking forward to that day, myself.)

8. Prestorika: If Megadeth holds a vote to select the opening band for their Asian tour, these guys will get screwed over in favour of some band signed to a big-name metal label.  Mark my words.

7. Capsula: Fun to watch, but I'd hate to be the singer of the band who took the stage after their front man nearly swallowed the microphone!

6. Hell Yeah, Fuck Yeah: If Yuk Yuk's were to hold a "Heavy Rock Singers of Toronto" comedy competition, my money would be on HYFY's Al911.  But only because Rob Hare of Diablo Red moved to Sarnia a couple months ago...

5. West Memphis Suicide: Hmm, I wonder what Damien Echols thinks of their band name...

4. Quest For Fire: If you've got a bootleg copy of their 45-minute epic Brown Nose, please send it my way!

3. Black Drawing Chalks: Did alimony payments from Brant Bjork fund their bass player's music career?  Inquiring minds want to know...

2. SNFU: Possibly the best punk performance I've seen since DOA @ The Kathedral in '06.  Unlike last Thursday, the 3Tards actually played that show.

1. Anvil: Good to see these guys finally getting some recognition with their nomination into the Canadian Independent Music Hall of Fame.  Now when does the campaign to get them to Cleveland get underway?

What did you think of Canadian Music Week?  Discuss it on the THTGIR forum